whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
