I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
