I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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