i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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