they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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