If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
