I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
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