She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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