I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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