I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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