We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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