Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
