At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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