in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
