I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
