there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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