remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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