sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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