What did we do last night that was yellow?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
