yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
