remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
