this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
