Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
