And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."