you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?