I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.