If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
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she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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