need another drink. this is the easiest way
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
