I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
