all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
