You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
