so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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