Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
