I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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