Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
