And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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