actually, I'm a sock model
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She even gives head with a lisp.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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