I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize