I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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