Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Also, beer. Big fan.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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