fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize