I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
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we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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