I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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