he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
