You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
