If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
