omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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