I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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