He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
