Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
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sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
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I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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