why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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