Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
