I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
