she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
