yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
