Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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