I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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